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(Source: imaginablyy)

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gohomemccall:

my dad is a senior software engineer at Google
this is his work laptop

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he takes it to company meetings

I’ve been told he has received many compliments

(Source: nbhcannibal, via c-ptn)

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hod-the-blind:

dx11:

mancermechro:

not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection

rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come

A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.

(via c-ptn)

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spinsterprivilege:

noirnites:

Macabre statues to keep me company outside my new office.

Congratulations on the job. I didn’t know Hell was even hiring.

spinsterprivilege:

noirnites:

Macabre statues to keep me company outside my new office.

Congratulations on the job. I didn’t know Hell was even hiring.

(via anus-nectar)

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(Source: theferocity, via spitefulstare)

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lemonhead-rudy:

reachexceedinggrasp:

meganphntmgrl:

this one is canon

Yes. Yes, it is.

Legit

(via scienceandsparkles)

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REALEST zodiac sign stuff

  • Aries: self-centred competitive cunts but still sweet
  • Taurus: nice as heck but dont show much emotions and eat way too much
  • Gemini: smooth lunatic manipulative assholes but geniuses
  • Cancer: dependant, emotionally unstable lullabies and probably the nicest persons you know
  • Leo: most generous and selfish at the same time attention whores
  • Virgo: steady fuckers that probably have an OCD
  • Libra: double-faced childish bitches but they know how to look good tho
  • Scorpio: paranoid psychos that think about dry humping all day long
  • Sagittarius: funny but rude, one night stands big winner
  • Capricorn: the best. the absolute best. everyone else go home. capricorn wins bye
  • Aquarius: weird hipsters that always try to sound deep and different but VERY open-minded
  • Pisces: sensible compulsive liars, daydreamers and super gentle but hypocrites